Let Go.....

When I saw the above quote, It play in my mind "It easy to say so"..... but after talk with friends and most of them will convince me to "Let it go...", "Move on....". When they say so, my emotion really struggle. I will say it to myself "it easy for you to say so, because you're not me." After when I really settle down my emotion, I look at the above quote again, I tell myself "I should let it go. If continue like that, everyone surrounded me will suffer whereby I don't want to see that."

I use to be a playful, active and no-worry lady whereby use to consult my friends and make everyone happy had become a sad, moody, emotional and Negative had influence everyone especially my kids. I don't wish to continue to be down, down, down all the way. I told myself "I want to be happy and bring up my kids in happy environment, teach them to be positive." To become that, 1st I have to be positive. For my kids, I have too.....

Andrew, my friend, you're right, parenting is not easy. But if we follow the flow and not too stress on the natural grow, maybe, things will run smooth without struggling. Yah.... I have to control myself. If I still can't cope the natural flow, I will seek for the professional advice....

Special thanks to all my friends who try to convince me to let go and my Hubby who always there to support me.... Love you.

Super Mom or Career Mom....

SUPER MOM vs CAREER MOM

For married women and have kids out there, I believe most of you will struggle to be a housewife or to be a careers mom . Same things go to me. M staying at Kota Bharu and I foreseen an opportunity to start-up a business... There are potential businesses grow if I start-up now or maybe can say in cantone word as 'tau tam tong'......

But on the other hand I want to be housewife to take care my kids and give them proper guidance. If only I feel financial-free... then I won't have to struggle. Really... who don't want to provide a better living for their kids. Everything M going to do, is for our kids. My dad keep approached me and hope I can work on it.
But if I start up the business now, then I won't be able to be with my kids and I don't want to pass my responsibility to my mom. I know it's normal that our kids with granny, but I really don't want to miss the day to see my kids growing day by day. I want to be there with them every moment, every day. I want to bake and cook for my kids. I want to teach them the alphabet and numeric. I want to play game with them. I want to see my kids to school, prepare them breakfast, lunch and dinner. I want to be there with them, always.

And that is why, I choose to be a housewife with part-time job. Can solve my problem. What kind of part-time will it be? I used to be a tuition teacher and I'm going to continue once WE had find a better place for our family.

Great day ahead..... :)

Talk to her

Things that cannot recover my life : 

The words after it said.....The move after it made

• "Do you know we had hurt her several time till she having post-natal depression?"
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• "Do you know that day Ann cry out loud for milk because she gave her a bit late?"
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• "Do you know Ann is the impatient girl?"
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• "Do you know she love her kids more than her life?"
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• "Do you know when she get her pap-smear test with abnormal cell found, she was having depression?"
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• "Do you know when she had her nap and we bring baby to your room had cause her paranoid and having difficult to sleep now?"
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• "Do you know when you "forced" to take Ann from her arm, she having nightmare till now?"
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• "Do you know the way you treat Ann was actually spoiling her?"
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• "Do you know She is Ann mother?"
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• "Do you know she pain for more than 12hrs to deliver Ann?"
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• "Do you know when she pump out the milk, she bleed but she never give up and hold the pain?"
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• "Do you know when u force Ann drink water was actually cause Ann having bad diarrhea?" 
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• "Do you know when Ann cry for mom and you don't let go really hurting her?"
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• "Do you know when Ann tired, she will cry out loud because she frustrated?"
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• "Do you know the action you made had cause her to get away from you?"
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• "Do you know she always thought that you want to take her baby away from her?"
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• "Do you know that she struggle every time when she come back to KL?"
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• "Do you know that every time you ask her to give baby formula milk was actually annoying and irresponsible?"
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• "We assume we know everything but actually we don't."
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• "You assume she will be ok because you think."
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• "You thought you have 30 over years of experience and can handle hers one."
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• "Do you know every mom have their expectation towards their own kids."
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• "You can share the experience and not force her to follow your style." 
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• "We never put ourselves in her shoes that why she lack of security towards us."
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• "Do you know when you say those words without think, really plant deep in her heart now."
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Prince Joe

Frankly, when I realize I have Joe in the early stage, I hardly believe it as in "Why now?"... Why I'm saying so, it all because I'm having difficult time with my hubby and my in law. Yah, our relationship getting worse because of Ann. I'm not blaming Ann, it just that everyone of us too love her and had create "crash" in our opinion.

Well, I'm not really that happy when I carried Joe for the past 35 weeks. I'm really worry that my emotion will actually influence his character. Now, Joe is already 4months and 18day old. He is so cheerful and like to smile always. No matter how tiring and exhausted, when he smile at me, my heart really go melt.... Awww... Everything is worth for my kids. No matter how difficult my life will be, I will charge till the end of my life.

He is my charming prince with those smile and happy face. Nothing in this world can replace his smile.

My dream House

It was so limited space for her to really have fun and I believe because of that she climb up and down to fully utilize the space. Seeing her fall from sofa and dinning chair really pin my heart. The more she fall, the more I feel frustrated of wanting the house. Sometime I even blame myself for didn't plan properly before act. I should own a house before I get marry. Yah...no use to regret now...

                                        I believe most of us will dream to own a house. For me, I always wanted a house with a lawn so that I can plant vegetables and fruits. I just can't wait any more longer when seeing my daughter growing day by day. Seeing her only run inside the house, I feel sad because the space is so limited. If let her run outside, I'm worry she hurting herself.

I wish I can bake everyday for my kids. Enjoying the learning activities at the living room. Running wild at the lawn with BoBo. Cook with all those vege I plant. Eat those fruit that I plant. Having my own space when they sleeping. Have a proper guidance for my kids. There's a list for me do to for my kids and I didn't even make any of them just because I don't have a house. I try to do it at my mom or in law house, but it hardly meet my requirement. I'm getting more frustrated and wondering when can my wish granted?